Mother’s Day Gift



When it comes to giving gifts, I have no equal. Fancy trips, diamonds, and precious gems don’t cross my radar. Furs? Never, I’m an animal lover. New car? Don’t think so. Every week since we bought her car back in1973 she has run into the side and front of the garage, not to mention posts and various other objects that get in her way while she runs her daily errands to pick up my brandy and cigars.
Bee Traps! Now that’s something every delicate woman wants. So I searched far and wide to find one for the mother of my children and finally, after years of searching, I was successful.
So far, Jacqui has been speechless, which we all know is highly unusual, but it’s been a fantastic Mother’s Day for the world’s greatest mother EVAH.
This is a picture of the gift I gave her that knocked her socks off (I’ll work on the rest later).
This gift ranked right up there with the infamous horse blanket I gave her one Christmas that nearly cost me my permanent place in our marriage bed – but she was less forgiving back then. The bee trap has a bit more longevity value than an old horse blanket. I mean year after year we have carpenter bees drilling holes all over our deck and they have been just as invasive up at our ranch in Ball Ground. The barn has so many holes in it that It is beginning to look like a big gray piece of Swiss Cheese!
Unfortunately, this bee trap hasn’t trapped one carpenter bee in the week I’ve had it. I picked it up at a roadside stand off Hwy 140 in Canton Georgia. It came highly recommended from a friend of mine, an Irish lass, who said she had already trapped a couple of these pesky critters that drill holes in anything wooden(that’s why I always wear a cap while outside on my deck).
I should have been suspect from the beginning as it came with 4 dead bees already in it but the roadside stand was a nylon tent. There was no wood around. So where did those bees come from, I’m wondering?

In hindsight, I’m also questioning the exorbitant price of this French torture chamber I so prudently purchased for the mother of all mother’s, my Jacqui; $22.50 plus tax for a block of wood and a Ball jar?
Well, it does have four holes drilled in it.
Does anyone have a garage sale coming up in the near future? Just asking.

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