Mark Twain – Outsmarted By A Lefty



A few years ago, the Wall Street Journal, published an article on being left-handed. I found it interesting because I am left-handed.

The experts said the study may help shed light on disorders related to brain development, like dyslexia, schizophrenia, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, which are more common in left-handed people.
These same experts say that about 10% of people are left-handed.
Another study by these experts says one of the determinates for turning out left-handed is that your mother was exposed to unusually high levels of stress during pregnancy so they gave birth to a left-handed child. So, I guess I can blame my affliction on my older brother, or at least part of it?
It’s dangerous being left-handed. I know it is. I live in danger every day when I try to operate tools made for right-handers. Can you believe a butter knife discriminates against lefties? Even fishing poses a problem.  Left-handers have to change the reels around so they can cast with their dominate hand. I would love to see right-handers out there trying to deal with everything being made for your left-handed brethren. After an hour of not being able to screw in a bolt, you would be driving it through your skull.

In pro football, Steve Young, a left-handed quarterback, posed a problem for his receivers because the spiral on the ball he threw was the opposite of what a right-handed quarterback threw.
But this WSJ article said, despite popular misperceptions, lefties aren’t more accident prone than right-handed people and don’t tend to die at a younger age. They also debunk the claim that left-handers are more intelligent than their right-handed counterparts. Folklore says left-handers are smarter, more creative and have an advantage over righties. Being left-handed, I tend to agree with folklore, at least it has history on its side. Obviously, this study was done by a right-handed researcher. Then the article went on to quote Robin Nusslock, a psychology professor at Northwestern University who said; “One reason more is not known about lefties is that many studies of how the brain works prohibit left-handers from participating because their brain wiring is known to be different.”

This article used a lot of scientific mumbo-jumbo like brain lateralization and hemisphere dominance along with the term “speculate.” I’m not positive, but I was under the understanding that scientists weren’t supposed to speculate. That they dealt in facts.

The article said that studying the dominance of one hand over the other may provide a window into the way our brains are wired, at least according to what these experts say.
Anyway, I’m left-handed and I’m not sure I want some quack looking in my window. Things up there are sensitive and meant to remain private.

Even Mark Twain, in one of his essays, seems to confirm the superiority of left-handers. He tells of the time he got hustled in a game of billiards in Virginia City.
A stranger in town proposed a game of billiards and Mark Twain agreed. The stranger told Mr. Twain to “knock the balls around a little so I can get your gait.”
After observing him for a while, the stranger said, “I will be perfectly fair with you, I’ll play you left-handed.”
After Mr. Twain lost the match, he said, “If you can play like that with your left-hand, I’d like to see you play with your right.”
“I can’t he said, “I’m left-handed.”
Once again, a sly left-handed bastard put one over on a slow-witted right-hander.
That story proves my point, left-handers are far superior to right-handers in spite of what some speculating researchers might say.